Mar 9, 2009

Which Fork Do I Use For the Cat Food Course?

Snapshot: Maia Louise eats with her feet. Foot. Her left foot to be precise. I know she's left-footed because she does everything with her left foot: digging in her litter box, batting at a toy, slapping the dog in the face. But does she need to eat with it too?

Normal cats just stick their faces into their food dishes and chow down, but not Maia. She uses her foot as a spoon to daintily scoop some food from her dish and then nibbles her meal from between her toes. Then she shovels up another blob and eats that. But between each bite, being the uber-clean kitty that she is, she shakes her foot to get all those pesky and sticky little bits that have gone uneaten out from between her toes. And as she's fed on the counter to keep the dogs from eating all her food, both wet and dry (we went through a spell where the cat never got a bite of food and became more and more manic due to low blood sugar while Cordelia got fatter and fatter), her discarded food ends up spattered everywhere: on the countertop, the bread box, the coffee maker, the backsplash, and even on the leaves of my aloe plant. She eats three times a day and snacks in between, so three plus times a day I have to scrub everything down and make it all brand spanking clean again, usually just in time for her next nosh.

If a cat can be trained to use a human toilet instead of a litter box, then why can't Maia Louise be taught to use an actual spoon instead of her damn foot? Or better still, why can't she be hired to do a Fancy Feast Cat Food commercial where she oh-so-delicately reaches into that crystal dish on a stem and nibbles the morsels within with her girlish paw? Then I could take her royalty checks and hire a maid to hose down my kitchen every time she's feeling a bit peckish.

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