Aug 17, 2006

Pocket Dogs and Forbidden Women

I want a chihuahua, but my husband wants nothing to do with a dog that does a really spot-on impression of a sewer rat. Or for that matter a high-end department store cosmetics counter sales girl (although that would imply that my future chihuahua would be a) a snotty, condescending bitch and b) prone to wearing ridiculously excessive amounts of ridiculously expensive makeup prominently placed to highlight her already razor sharp rodent-like features). My husband wants a mistress, but I, being your standard-issue female say that is utterly and completely out of the question. However, he feels we could "come to an agreement" on this, with each of us making the other wildly happy. And even though satisfying both of our desires would be an expensive prospect (with his mistress coming in well above the cost of even an extremely well-bred specimen of dog), I somehow think I'd be getting the very short end of the stick as it were. For now, we've both agreed that I can ogle all the little dogs I want out on the street, but if I call one over or approach one and pet it, he gets to do the same to any women he thinks are as enticing as all those little dogs are to me. What's a girl to do?

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